She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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