Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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