he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize