can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
