you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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