My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
