so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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