Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
