the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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