some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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