very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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