THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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