How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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