Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
