Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
