do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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