We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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