no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
