Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
