lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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