Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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