I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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