He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
