yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
