This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
