She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I feel like death gave me a hand job
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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