Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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