so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize