Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
