...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
