My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
