My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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