how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
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