maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just threw up on my dentist
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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