plz talk dirty to me
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
