I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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