dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
