Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i think my cat just said my name.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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