You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
