What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
