grandma shit on top of the toilet
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
