As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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