you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
