i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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