I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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