i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
