i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
