Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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