hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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