I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
