Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
