"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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