another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
