I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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