i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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