the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
