If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize