dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
