So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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