I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
