Porn is love you can see.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
