That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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