Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
