I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
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I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
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I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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